The Good, The Bad, The Hawtin: WMC Conclusion

by buckbbuck

Wednesday, Apr 19th 2006, 09:47 AM
The Hawtin aka The Messy

Ahhh Richie Hawtin. If there was not a breakout DJ at conference there was certainly the one with the most stories, and that would of course be the legendary Richie Hawtin. Now first of all, for some strange reason, I had never seen Hawtin DJ anywhere until this year. Time after time when he was set to play, I have been unavoidably detained for various reasons. But this year, at conference, I finally got to see him in all his glory. Of course many have already heard of his most infamous moment in Miami, as the word spread like wildfire from the terrace at Nocturnal through cell phones, texts, the internet, and good old fashioned word of mouth all the way through Miami and on to NY, London, Berlin and then the rest of the world. This special edition of The Messy though, would like to revisit the Hawtin Debacle of course but also share some other less well known but equally intriguing highlights from Richie over the course of conference.

Things started out innocently enough...

The Hawtin Debacle for those of you who have been living under a rock (or who got really cracked out in Miami) is the incident at Nocturnal on the Terrace where Richie Hawtin was assaulted and dragged out of the DJ booth by some cro-magnon bouncer in the middle of the party which almost started a riot. But first let's go back to where it all started: Homo Techno!

You've all heard of gay house, fag house, handbag house and the rest, but apparently, under the right circumstances, with the right DJs in the booth, Homo Techno rears its fabulous head. With 6 incredible DJs in the booth, a load of vodka, and who knows what else at the AM only party, the DJs seemed to be having way too much fun. I cannot confirm any actual kissing among the half dozen or so techno masters, but I can say I saw plenty of jumping on each other, hugging, and rolling around on the ground together, and what many Baptist preachers would certainly describe as inappropriate touching. Oh and if the DJ booth was not enough, the music's influence spread to the dancefloor where two hulking meatmen had a shirtless water fight on the dancefloor. You know the scene from Zoolander where the male models are spraying themselves with gasoline? These guys could have been extras in that scene.

Uh oh... where's that other hand?

The overzealousness and pseudo-homoeroticism in the DJ booth lead to Hawtin getting removed and when he tried to get back in and play some more music, well that is when it all went Pete Tong for Richie Hawtin and the neander-bouncer decided to choke the headliner, drag him out, and the party took a potentially ugly turn.

After Adam Beyer shut off the music (rightly so, because what is a Hawtin party without a Hawtin), the bouncers, handlers, DJs, and other various heads managed to talk their way through it and let Richie come back on. Richie dropped a few evil records, the bouncers chased another DJ-boother around the dancefloor before dragging him out and then everyone decided the party was over.

Guys, get a room!

Ah but the partying was not over! Richie and about 20 NYC-ers headed out of Nocturnal and decided to skate over to Space for Sander K on the Terrace. 300 bucks later, Richie had gotten 20 or so people in. 300 seconds after that Richie was being escorted out of the club for allegedly throwing a drink at another bouncer.

Finally the party moved to where the party tends to move in Miami when it involves superstar DJs and the thirst for more liquor: The Duece Bar. Stumbling out of Space we arrived at the Duece to find an all star cast of DJ talent from the worlds of House and Techno listening to the finest in 70s prog-rock out of the jukebox. It was here where I finally escaped and found sleep but apparently Richie kept at it and even managed to leave his computer at the Duece when he departed. Luckily it was found by a responsible fellow-DJ. (In other news, everyone may soon be talking about DJ Three's hot new minimal sound.)

Mr. Bouncer gets jealous.

So after that eventful day, it came time for Sunday School for Degenerates at the Pawn Shop with 'DJ Incognito" aka Hawtin. The rumor was after he got kicked out of Space an APB went around to all the clubs banning him from entry. Being the unannounced guest at Pawn Shop meant nobody knew he was playing so when he first got on the decks at the party he was crouched down behind them. Was he hiding from security just in case they wanted to drag him out of yet another club? Probably not, but at the time, It sure seemed to be a likely reason. Nevertheless, soon he was tag-teaming again with Luciano and Loco Dice and leading the charge at what was probably the best party of the conference.

All in all after clubbing for over a decade and managing to miss such a high profile DJ like Richie Hawtin for so long, it was great to finally catch the man in action, but it became a bit excessive after a while as he seemed to be at every damn party I went to. Hell, I half expected him to show up at the OM party and start tag-teaming with Sneak. Luckily for the bouncers at Mansion, he didn't. But he did earn newfound glory and was easily the most entertaining DJ of this year's WMC.

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